Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
A+ Viking dick
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize