Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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