I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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