He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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