...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
