Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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