i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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