I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
