I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
