it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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