But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
