? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Someone came in the potted fern
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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