Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
