i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
