but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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