i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
