8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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