I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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