You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
