GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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