He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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