nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
