Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
