his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
