My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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