I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize