Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dicks are not precious.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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