i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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