Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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