Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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