We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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