I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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