i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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