I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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