Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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