My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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