i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
