the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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