wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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