You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
