you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
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I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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