Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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