You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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