he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.