dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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