Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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