So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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