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Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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