watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
