Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
