Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i dont even know how to be here
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
