i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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