So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
