shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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