what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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