GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
