if you like me you must not know who I am
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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